I'd just like to point out that I didnt edit bradbury's post.
some people enjoy putting [ edited ] on their posts and from time to time when they do - others actually " yell " or " get on my case " for doing that.
its agitating, really - being that the only instance I edit something is if, say - you're making a post about how people cannot spell worth a shit and you hate their guts and you just happen to type out : " Fukcers can burn in hell! " - i'd fix that.
or you're steven and you decide to type out a long and drawn out letter-per-heading post that fucks everything up.
or michael who cannot seem to use spaces in sentences and makes the board go horizontal.
or jimmoi who posts an image of a bird which alters the size of the board itself.
or - as bradbury beat me to it - when you mass-post something to the extent that it is " beyond necissary " - mind you, at those times I do leave a good bit of your work on the board - but i remove about three fourths of it.

As for bradbury's drunken semi-coherant-ness : be expecting the same from me, tonight - if I get onto Joe's computer at his house.
hee hee hee.
I throughouly plan to get " smashed " as the saying goes - being as i've been long over due for a good " lets forget shit " alcoholic driven frenzy.

Lets all follow bradbury's example ( well, not literally ) - and end this year with a . . .

B A N G

and hey zacho - you gettin' new-years-eve-road-head?
heh - and be sure to post what YOU ARE THE LAST PERSON TO DO : _________ THIS YEAR
and YOU ARE THE FIRST PERSON TO DO : _________ IN 2003 -

I specifically remember than in 2001 Brice was the very first person to shit into a paper bag.
aint that somethin' ?

I dont know what I'll do tonight/morning - but i'll be sure to post it.

"The Other White Meat" is A RED MEAT!!!


All mamallian meat is "red" meat.



The damage it causes to human circulatory systems is amazing.

ME GETING SHITFACED AND BORED=MORE POSTING THAT THE BOARD HAS SEEN IN A MONTH.

[edited]

I apologize to those of you who might be offended by the barely coherent ramblings of a drunk fucker such as myself.

LIFE IS ONE GREAT BIG FUCKING MYSTERY.

ENJOY IT, YOU PEOPLE, YOU MAY OR MAY NOT GET ANOTHER CHANCE.

EVERYTHING IS HERE FOR OUR ENJOYMENT, OR SO IT WOULD SEEM.


THERE'S ONLY ONE SPACE AFTER A COMMA OR SEMICOLON,

TWO AFTER A PERIOD OR A COLON, SO SAYS THE ENGLISH TEACHER.






WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The pig's balls never dropped.

Turns out "he" was a she. Oops.

But I now know what a pig looks like on the inside. Especially the kidneys. For some reason, they don't remove the kidneys when they slaughter hogs. Strange. Most everything is different with pigs.


And, for the record, Blue Max Sausage Company, at 96th and Canyon, 120th and Pacific, and 56th and South Tacoma Way, makes the best smokedm goods (i.e jerky, sausage, etc) in the state. Carl Mefford, the owner of all three, is on hell of a guy. Give his products a try, if any of you get a chance. You won't regret it.


Conherency is for those who haven't discovered mind-altering substances.

Abba Zabba.



Be - all that you can be. And play video games.



Just for the record, I AM NOT AN ALCOHOLIC. I AM A DEDICATED DRINKER

I've told myself that for four years now.

Wow. I can stand. Go figure. I guess a full bladder was all the motivation it took. I can even walk. And sit. And then stand back up again.

Nifty.

Nice post, Zach-o. They were Hicks, not rednecks. There is a difference.
But the fucking-with was first class. I admire your efforts at bringing the sting of being beaten to those who deserve it.


Although, had I read it before my last post, things might have been different.


[Bob Saget says: "I used to suck dick for coke!"]

["I love you man!" "You're not getting my Bud Light."]

Redneckicus Drunkicus:

I now know what it's like to be, more or less, a passenger in the destruction of a $30k vehicle (2001 Toyota Tundra, my baby, and the center of my Hot Rod efforts [read: most of my money, most of my time] for the past year and a half).
Mind you, I was driving the vehicle, but when someone pulls out (directly) in front of you on a wet road at 45 mph, there is nothing the driver can do but try his best and hold the fuck on. Well, my best wasn't good enough at 10 this morning, and now I have been faced with what more than enough people have dealt with. As far as holding on, I did that as well as anyone ever has.

For the remainder(sp?) of my vacation, I'll be dealing with two insurance companies (his and mine), Lakes Body Shop, and the Pierce County Sherriff's department. So, right now, I'm as drunk as I've been in a long time (probably since July or so, but I'm not really sure). Tomorrow, I'll drink until I can't possibly drink any more (then I'll have my buddies poor it down my throat. The goal of this is too keep from being sore [yeah, that's it. that's the ticket!]). Let's just say that, until the 6th (my first day back at work after 16 days off) I'll be giving a lot of money to Coor's and the Washington State Liquor Control Board. ooh, and Peperidge Farms. Damn, those Goldfish Crackers are good. Moreso after a 5th (750ml, 1/5th of 1 gallon) of Jack Daniel's Old Time "Old no. 7 Brand" Quality Tennessee Sour Mash Whiskey (so says the bottle). It is, by making, actually a bourbon, but having not been made in the Bourbon area of Kentucky, they don't call it bourbon. They call it Tennesse Whiskey.

Oh, God yeah. (assuming there is a God. Not that I'm saying there is or isn't, just using an expression.)

I hope you all enjoy your "New Year's" plans, whatever they may be. Hell, sitting around watching TV counts, as long as the spirit is there.

TO END, I'd like to say:

FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!! FUCK!!!

(I'll truncate it myself, to save James the effort. Just count on me having typed it for ten or twelve pages)


P.S. It's amazing how lucidly I can type. I can't even stand up right now. But I'm watching "Half Baked," so "it's all good."


P.P.S. You'd be surpised how hard I can throw a screwdriver after as wonderfull a crash as I had this morning. The gravel from the side of Canyon Road actually dented the damn thing.

Goals for today:
-Pick up pig.
-Deliver pig to slaughterhouse by 6 a.m.
-Pick up trailer-towed pig-roasting rotisserie.
-Deliver trailer-towed pig-roasting rotisserie to site of pig roasting.
-Retrieve pig from slaughterhouse and deliver to site of pig roasting.

Day's tally:
-Three rednecks, with a combined total of around 6 hours sleep, caked with mud.
-Two trucks, fairly beat-up, caked with mud.
-One Toyota bottle jack, very bent.
-One pig, very alive, fairly oblivious to its situation.
-Zero trailer-towed pig-roasting rotisseries.

Today could have gone worse, but it really would have had to try.

Holy fuckin' Chroist

Well, for those of you who didn't know - my sister ran away from home a few days ago. Tonight, I had an odd thought - what about (enter freinds name)? Her parents are known for harbouring run aways. So, I pull into their driveway and BAM! There's my sister in their living room. I didn't even have to go in - I saw her from the road. and she saw me.

So, I knock on the door. No answer. So, I pound on the door. No answer. So, I get in anyway. BAM! I commited a crime.

Then, there's the yelling match. Then, the freind's parents say, "Okay, you can take Amber and (insert freind she ran away with's name here) with you." and then helped them ESCAPE out the back. What the fuck is that?!? So, my dad is called. They call the cops on my dad for assault, when he's not even there yet. I call (insert name of freind who ran away with sister)'s Mom and tell her what's up. Dad tells them, as their being taped by a 911 operator, that if Amber or (insert that same old friend) set foot in their house, they are committing the felony of harbouring a runaway as well as aiding a minor in a crime - as one of the runaways has a "youth at risk" order/arrest warrent out on her. Dad leaves, I go to the front of the neighborhood to wait for said other mother. She drives back though the neighborhood sans headlights and sees my sister and her daughter though the same window and calls 911. She calls me and my dad, we go over there. The cop won't go get them out because they claim they're afriad to go home ( I would be too at that point! ). My dad says to the cop "Either me or her are leaving here in a cop car tonight." Cop takes that as a threat, calls for back-up, claiming my Dad is assaulting him. Back-up arrives, goes in and gets both girls. As they get in the car, (insert harbour-ers names) tell the cops I don't have a liscence. I do. They say they're gonna smack me with breaking and entering - I'd already talked to the cop and told him what happened, he's cool with it. Dad is talked to for assaulting the officer, but they're all in all cool with that to. (Other runaway's mother) gets a case number, and the harbour-ers are hit with -

1)Aiding a minor in committing a crime - felony
2)Harbouring a runaway x2 - felony
3)Concealing the whereabouts of a runaway x2 - ?
4)and, for refusing to remand Amber to my custody, custodial interference by a non-related party - felony

and the Hell of it is - they won't know tis till tomorrow morning.

I shall elaborate my point because it seems nobody has seemed to got it - but rather, has pigeonholed me into the stereotypical " grinch " or " scrooge " as it may be. I believe steve may have the same feeling I have - and yet you still do not listen to him either. So here I go.

First and foremost my beef was not necissarily with the economizing of christmas as a holiday. I dont care much for that.
and secondly - Im tired of all the bullshit that comes when someone makes a point and the only thing to degrade that point is : " YOU THINK TOO MUCH " or " STOP OVER ANALYZING THINGS " or something else along the same lines. These two points I shall further elaborate.

My beef with christmas was about the idealogies behind them. Not about " OH MAN I AM NOT GOING TO HAVE FUN BECAUSE OF ( SOME REASON ) " - and it wasnt about NOT ENJOYING CHRISTMAS. My beef was behind presents and the idealogies that people present in giving and receiving said presents. Not with the holiday. THE PEOPLE - and secondly : specifically for michael that is : Im not a family person. I dont give a flying rats ass if mom and dad and little brother joe and the one legged crippled kid who " PLEASE SAH, MAY I HAVE SOME MOHRE? " shows up to get a turkey. I dont want grandma and grandpa over. I dont want Calvin and his umpteenth girlfriend-whom-will-soon-be-replaced over. I dont want toys. I dont want gifts. I want happiness. And all these things which are done over and over each and every year DONT FUCKIN' DO IT. Im a nice person. I give presents willingly when there isnt an occasion to call for it. Im not needy, and Im not greedy. Im a very good person. It tears me up inside when christmas time rolls itself around and all of a sudden everyone is calling me a grinch. Or misanthropic. Or materialistic. Or scrooge. And they start telling me that I need to " lighten up " and " get into the spirit " - how the fuck can I get into the spirit when all it takes is for a holiday to make you my best friend? To make you buy me things? To make you be nice? To make you FINALLY have goodwill and tidings towards all men? Fuck you. I do believe in Christ and I do believe in his teachings - but I sure as hell dont believe in all the fabricated bullshit that comes along with : " OH YOU NEED TO BE HAPPY ON THIS SPECIFIC DAY " crap - You think I didnt buy things to " make a dent " in some coporation's plans? No, I didnt buy presents because I didnt deserve to buy them. I didnt buy presents because the people I was going to get them didnt deserve them. WHERE THE FUCK HAS THE CONCEPT OF BEING HUMBLE GONE? Oh fuck that lets flush it down a toilet and be happy.

I will show my goodwill towards men throughout the year.
It wont take a god-damned paid day off of work for me to be a nice person.

secondly.

WHAT THE FUCK? This is the way I am. I think. Its what I do. While everyone else was out drinking their alcohol and having their parties and going to football games and fucking their friends and playing in streets I was in the library or at home reading a book and thinking about life. Thinking about why I existed and the meaning to things. I THOUGHT about the things PEOPLE DID instead of DOING THEM. Now that Im reaching the point of my life where I have to do those things people continually tell me that all the conclusions Ive come to are fabricated and nothing more than " over thinking " and that I should " relax " and " take it easy " and " stop being so stupid " - well fuck you buddy. Sorry if I cannot live my life by the swing of every second and never stop to think " what does this mean? " - sorry that I think life has some greater intent, some higher purpose to it rather than " feeling good " or " being happy " - fuck you if I cant say something and instead of trying to LOGICALLY SHOOT ME DOWN on the same grounds you decide that " its higher and mighter " to say : " HUH HUH, I DONT CARE YOU IS STUPID STOP AND JUST SMOKE THIS JOINT AND RELAX DOOD " - FUCK YOU.

I DONT WANT A GOD DAMNED HUG.
I DONT WANT FUCKIN SYMPATHY.
I WANT TO STOP GETTING SCREWED BY MY GOD DAMNED "FRIENDS" EVERY FUCKING TURN I TAKE.
I WANT TO HAVE SOME SORT OF RESPECT FOR THE PEOPLE I KNOW AND FOR MYSELF.
I WANT TO BE ABLE TO LOOK AT MY LIFE AND THE LIVES OF THOSE AROUND ME AND BE PROUD.
I WANT TO SIT DOWN AND HAVE DISCUSSIONS ABOUT THINGS THAT I BELIEVE MATTER BUT MAKE NO REAL DIFFERENCE.
I WANT TO BE COMPELLED TO LIVE LIFE RATHER THAN PASS IT BY WITH ELATION AND GOOD FEELING.
I WANT TO BE HAPPY AND HAVE THE KNOWLEDGE TO KNOW WHY I AM HAPPY AND UNDERSTAND WHERE THE HAPPINESS COMES FROM.

wrap that in a god damned box and put it under my tree.
fuck you.
and have a merry christmas.

Bah! Humbug.

Here's some holiday spirit for you:

Aaron, lick the sweat from my ball sack.

It wasn't mockery, just reality.


Fuck the holiday season. It's all a bunch commercialistic bullshit from one religion that controls the economy for no apparent reason. No more. It was never a huge deal until people started cashing in on it. The spirit and intentions of the season are dead.

CHRISTMAS
or a lack there - of

I'd like to wish you all a merry christmas. So I will do that now : Merry Christmas - but yet the words do not express much of anything to me anymore. I think the ending of this year marks my final descent into insanity. The final snap before the real havok begins. I do not know what the next year will bring - but I do know that it wont be pretty. I will move out. I will have my own place. I will let my eccentricies run wild - and most of all I will be happy. Happiness and insanity - for some damn reason, are the same thing for me. If I imagine myself to be in a good mood, then obviously I must have lost something in the wood-work. My idealogies have manifested themselves in a full-blown manner to which I cannot help but do anything. I just sit to the side and watch them grab the controls and say : " THIS IS HOW IT IS GOING TO BE, MOTHA FUCKA " - and so it is. Christmas, for example. I do not celebrate my birthday - in fact, I dont think birthdays should be celebrated. The birth of christ has, and it has been said so many times before that it isnt funny - become nothing more than an economic bump in corporations' plans for gathering money into their pockets. Christmas now starts the day after thanksgiving. I wanted to give people presents but I thought the presents would be empty inside. Just full of money and " I think this person wants this " - no real caring or real feeling attatched to them. I think that this lack of caring has also made people think that : " I should get what I want from these people this year because ( insert reason ) " - always wanting to want. To want want want want. I asked myself this year - or should I say that my father came in and asked : " what do you want for christmas? " - I ... thought about it. Nothing. I dont want anything, really. And I figured thats was it. I have totally lost it. The american idealogy of : "WANT WANT WANT WANT" had been erradicated. I just keep on going. So.

I hope that every one of you wants to get something for christmas.
I hope that every one of you gets what you want this christmas.
I hope that every one of you enjoys life and is happy with what comes.

just other ways of saying Merry Christmas.
Happy New Year.

I thought of trying to gather together poker night on christmas.
but I figured that would be blasphemy.

Okay, you can go to the airport dressed like that.

I'll follow behind dressed normally, and enjoy the show as you get to taste a rubber glove that took the long way up.

Games acquired :

NES GAMES
- Cyber Stadium Series Base Wars ( a game me and steven both highly remember being awesome, but remember nothing about )
- BLASTER MASTER ( c'mon, if you dont know, you aint no gamer )

COMPUTER GAMES
- Hegemonia Legions of Iron ( some RTS game that has been bugging me to buy it )

MOVIE GAMES
- ALL THREE BACK TO THE FUTURES
- Charly and the Chocolate Factory

also : as long as napster informs me, im ok.
although ill still bitch.
motherfucker.
but i dont mind really - unless its something im actively playing ( ie > mortal kombat )
then some heads would roll.
but people round these parts rarely play GTAVC any much.

anywho.
I gotta zip.


Carpe Carpe.

Carpe Noctem

Carpe Cerevisi

Carpe Spiritus

well james i think its my mom calling you if it was this morning at like 640 cuz she got onto my s/n and looked up your # on my list so yea sorry about that