June 28, 2003

While looking through Jimmoi's family's online photo album today I noticed something startling

Now, asides from the ridiculously funny asian with the mullet, take a look at the center character in the picture, got him good and memorized? Good, now look at this:

It seems that same boy appears numerous times throughout Jimmoi's family photo album, despite their not being one single picture of Jimmoi himself. Interesting, eh? Well, upon investigation I discovered this person to be none other than Jimmoi's cousin Bryan, who often visited Jimmoi's family. Rather than speculate about why Bryan is in all of Jimmoi's family's pictures and Jimmoi is in none, I went straight to a reliable source... Jimmoi's mom, during our interview, she had this to say:

"Oh, that Bryan. You want some meat? He a very nice boy, cousin of James, he always eat his meat unlike James, so I like him better. Meat? Bryan so likable, he have normal friends, not crazy long hairs. He just a good meat eating kid. So we have many photos of him, and none of James. EAT THE MEAT!"

After being accosted with a barrage of thrown pork chops and skirt steaks I made it out of Jimmoi's house and back to writing my article. IT appears that unbeknownst to us, Jimmy has been overshadowed by his cousin his whole life. It appears I've probably inadvertantly drudged up tons of horrible painful memories about this cousin of Jimmy who everyone liked better. But why not, I mean he had hot asian bitches:

He was just a cool kid, I contacted him now to ask him what he was up to. And he sent me this picture along with a note about how he had become a well known asian pop star:

And what's Jimmoi up to? THe air force? Right, he apparently told Bryan the truth. He's been whoring himself out to men with an "M & M" fetish. Apparently he melts in their mouths and in their hands, and wherever else they want him to, for a fifty spot.

Sorry if I exposed your sad truth Jimmoi, and about that message I got, I can't hang out on friday man, Bryan invited me to go bowling, so umm... maybe next time man... you know, if there's nothing else going on...

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